What Makes Us Miserable

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   by Edward    1 Comment  →

Contrary to logic thinking, what makes us miserable in a bad situation is not the absence, but the presence of choice.

I found this out myself while examining myself in tight spots: why am I sometimes so angry and why am I sometimes so accepting.

Choice, changes everything.

The presence of choice in a bad situation leads to depression and disgruntled thinking, the absence of choice leads to acceptance and the spirit to fight.

A couple who is in a bad relationship will make things worse by considering the choice of leaving each other, instead of giving all they got in making things work.

An employee who has a weak performance will make things worse by considering the choice of leaving the company. “I could work someplace else, y’know.”

A bad holiday trip is made worse when we, instead of learning to enjoy the rest of it, always asked the question, “I should have not invited these people.”

A choice is like that little devil sitting on your shoulder whispering:

“Why didn’t I”. “What if”. “I could have been”.

These are very dangerous lines. It will ruin you. It will drag you even deeper in your current problems.

Usually the situation itself is not that dire. But with the presence of choice, you making yourself more miserable.

I learn to skip the choices. I go straight to acceptance.

I learn to think: “There is no choice. So what can I do now?”

Stay. Accept. Fight. Come out as a winner.

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  • Ruby | Wanderbites.com

    To a certain extent, I agree with having less options. Or even having no options at all can be better. Sometimes I put myself in this ‘kepepet’ situation purposefully to squeeze the best out of me. Pressure makes a good coffee I guess.